+ about me +

now:
feeling: The current mood of lexia02@hotmail.com at www.imood.com
loving: my wonderful new iPod
hating: nothing in particular
reading: "The Iliad"
listening: random songs on my iPod :D
watching: Troy
playing: Everquest, FF VII and my new Zelda game (thank you John muackmuacks!!)
wanting: to go shopping
craving: oreos
read more: about me

+ around my blog +

+ current
+ email me
+ blogskins
+ blogger

+ archives +

May 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004

+ favourite blogs +

+ Jonquille
+ inflatedego
+ Aloka
+ The Non-Adventures of Japaneezu Seijin
+ alexthegirl
+ Pinkified
+ Darknyte
+ Deep rambling thoughts of a blonde
+ Eiyaku Shimpo

+ links +

+ EverQuest
+ MoS Guild on VS (old)
+ MoS Guild on VS (new)
+ LOTR
+ Istad
+ Escaflowne Online
+ Orisinal
+ Keiji
+ Intuitivmedia
+ Blogskins
+ Be a vampire!
+ chanth.com
+ Games
+ CDJapan

+ fun stuff+



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The WeatherPixie
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e n t e r

Alexa/Female/21-25. Lives in Singapore, speaks English and Chinese. Eye color is brown. I am a dreamer. I am also skeptical. My interests are music and lots more.



My Garden Collection ^_^





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Comments by: YACCS

Monday, September 29, 2003 + Puffy Leaky Teary Stuffy +

*Droooools* The latest Lord of the Rings Trailer is out! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it here. Do it now. :D

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm totally infatuated with Orlando Bloom. He's British, not that much older than me, cute, is into theatre/drama and photography and did I mention he's cute? Ahhahahahahahahaha.... Think I'm going bonkers. Best of all he's a great actor, and it seems a pretty dedicated one at that. I love what he's done with Legolas in LOTR. Then again, I love what Peter Jackson and all the cast and crew have done with the movie adaptation of the book. So what if the movies aren't totally accurate? (Like my students would say) The movies ROX! Ahhahahahahahaha.......

What's been going on with me so far apart from my infatuation: I received an email from SYC saying that I've got in and will be on 'trial' for 4 practices, after which they'll let me know if they think I'll fit in well enough to continue. If I do, I'll be on 'probation' for whoknowshowlong. Well wish me luck, I hope it goes well. I think I'll have fun there, and it'll be one interesting experience for me.

I've been unwell the past few days again. I don't know if it's the erratic weather, or if it's because John has been fighting off the flu bug and he passed me some of his germs. Anyway I was freezing this morning, and in the evening I was all hot, sticky and clammy. It was awful. :( I'm slightly better now but I don't think it's going to go away just yet. Sigh. I've been all teary eyed, leaky nosed and stuffy headed for the past few days. Having exam essays to mark and deadlines (or is it datelines??) isn't helping very much. I just want to either bask in the sun or hide under my duvet and have heaps and heaps of yummy sorbet or bowls of steaming hot chicken soup (respectively) - depending on whether I'm freezing my butt off or sweating buckets. Doesn't that sound gross??

During lunch today with Winnie at Siglap we were talking about what we see ourselves doing in future. And while I will probably serve out my bond teaching in school and not go to MOE HQ if the offer comes my way, I can't really see myself teaching for the rest of my life. It's weird, how I've spent all my schooling years dreaming of majoring in music. And now that I've done it I find that it isn't exactly what I really want to do in life/for a living. Maybe teaching isn't exactly what I really want to do and it's not music per se. Deep down I think I've always wanted to be a writer/artist (and now photographer to boot) because you don't really have someone to boss you around and you answer to yourself. :P Then again I suppose something always sounds so nice until you're really in it and have to deal with the reality of the situation. I think I won't really know what it's like till I try it, so that's the only way to find out, isn't it??

I really want to get started on my 'creating', whatever comes out of it. Time to whip out the paintbrushes and camera and get going. But before that I need to get over my puffy-leaky-teary-stuffy body first...


glittermissy @ 10:49 PM + + Permalink


Tuesday, September 23, 2003 + Embarking upon a new venture +

The audition on Saturday went okay. I guess it could have been worse. :P Debbie was on the panel, which made me feel better as I wasn't singing to a panel of total strangers.

I was obviously very nervous and I'm sure they could hear the quavering in my voice. Talk about natural vibrato! Anyway, my technique isn't great and I don't think I sang that well even though Debbie said it was musically phrased. :P

There were two tests. First I had to clap the rhythm printed on a page, and secondly I had to sight sing a short melody (not exactly the most melodious of melodies but I'm sure they were looking out for accurate pitching, along with constant tempo and rhythm). These went okay. :D

However my technique is totally crapola. :( Sigh. I think I'm really a mezzo soprano but spent my whole life thinking I'm an alto. So I sing that way - heavier than I think I really sound, and definately heavier than I need to be. Also my voice is naturally not the bright and perky type so I have to work even harder to bring it forward. Oh well.

I see joining SYC and learning new repertoire as a challenge and I'm glad that Debbie pointed so many things out to me about my technique. I'm pretty excited and am looking forward to improving and learning. :) Aren't I optimistic little miss sunshine today? I guess I just like the feeling of embarking upon a new venture. :P


glittermissy @ 9:11 AM + + Permalink


Friday, September 19, 2003 + Go me +

Still headachy but no longer grumpy nor anti-social. Go me! :D

I reckon it's because the weekend is here. Yay! Well, tomorrow I'm going to put my neck (or rather, voice) on the chopping board and audition for the SYC (Singapore Youth Choir). If I get in *fingers, eyes, legs, hair and toes crossed* I will probably not sing in SSC (Singapore Symphony Chorus) anymore. Even though getting to sing in 'big works' - masterpieces of the classical choral repertoire (as well as take part in the Arts Fest next year singing Mahler's 8th Symphony), being in the SSC isn't exactly the choral experience that I'm looking for. Perhaps I don't really have any friends there as the people there are from rather different circles and age groups, which is why Monday nights at SSC usually feels rather impersonal and unenjoyable. Maybe I'm being too sensitive but Lim Yau is a rather scary chap too. Last Monday he asked me and another alto to sit right at the end of the front row. We did, and later he made this (according to my interpretation) dismissive gesture while saying, "I asked you to sit in front for a reason, you know." Now, what's that supposed to mean? That we weren't good enough and he wanted us in the corner so our voices wouldn't be as offensive to his ear?

Maybe I'm just reading too much into that one incident. But it didn't leave me with a good feeling. And anyway the only thing I really enjoy about Monday nights there is the actual singing/music. Maestro Yau has ears and eyes like a hawk and it is a bit unsettling - to the point where I don't sing correctly because I'm too nervous, or I don't watch him or listen to the chorus because my eyes are glued to my own score. And honestly I really don't think that's the kind of choral experience I want. I perfectly understand that SSC, after all, puts up public performances for a paying audience and some kind of standard has to be maintained. But still, I'm starting to feel that it's not for me.

Well who knows? Maybe they'll decide I don't have the right kind of voice for SYC and I'll end up nowhere. In a way I desperately want to get into SYC because I think it'll offer what I think it does and more. And also I don't want to become choirless, or be left feeling dissatisfied and stuck if I stick to SSC.

I don't like the feeling of being stuck in limbo and this is one of those situations. My friends all tell me that I'm worrying too much about getting into SYC (I'm still very young as a singer and I've got a long way to go, which is why I'm not confident of my abilities) but I guess I didn't explain what exactly is going through my head and what getting into SYC means to me. Well, enough unhappy thoughts. The weekend is here and I shall try my best to go for the audition with an open mind and a smile on my face. Go me.


glittermissy @ 4:30 PM + + Permalink


Thursday, September 18, 2003 + Falling sick to boot +

Still grumpy, headachy and anti-social. Think I'm falling sick too. But here's something funny.

Asato Tsuzuki
You're Asato Tsuzuki! A very amiable personality
surrounds your inner darkness, but people know
that you are not evil. Some aspect of you
always catches others attention.


Which anime fighter would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla


glittermissy @ 5:29 PM + + Permalink


+ Grumpy and anti-social +

My day in school has officially ended but I'm still around getting things done. Managed to get quite a lot of sleep last night but I'm having a splitting headache. If I do anymore marking I think my brain will just explode. I just want to find some corner somewhere to collapse in a heap and die. Argh.

It's nice, grey, wet and dark today. Which matches my mood perfectly. I'm feeling very anti-social and grumpy. Think it's PMS. Stupid headache too. I would write more but not today. ARGH. Just want to go home and sleep.


glittermissy @ 1:13 PM + + Permalink


Tuesday, September 16, 2003 + What if? +

I've been doing some 'deep thinking' the past week or so. Then again, I'm always doing 'deep thinking'. Whenever I have some time to myself, to slow down and breathe a little, these deep thoughts keep running through my head like my brain is a broken record player - What's the meaning of life? What's the meaning of MY life? Am I a happy person? Why? Why am I not living life to the full? What does it mean to live life to the full anyway??

I've come to feel that obligations are nasty little things. They either make you really inspired or they crush you 'like a cockroach'. And I think for me it has been more of the latter than anything. There's always this fear of not living up to expectations set by family, friends and society at large. But there's this little girl voice somewhere in my broken-record-player-brain that echos "be a writer... be an artist... create".

The prospect of not having a 'stable' job with a 'stable' income scares me. I don't come from the richest of families, and after a teenagehood of turbulence at home I realize how much I've put security on a pedestal. Maybe a sense of security is something I never really had, which explains the critical and pessimistic attitude I often have towards myself.

But what I really want to do with my life is to create - to make things, be they songs or poems or photographs or stories or novels or 'art' - which touches people in some way. Whether it inspires them, makes them love/hate/laugh/cry, makes them understand themselves better, or whether it lets me share something of my view of life with them. I want to create something which, even if it means absolutely nothing to those who see it, would ultimately bring me satisfaction and perhaps let me understand myself a little better.

There are so many inspiring stories of people who have chased their dreams and one of my favourites is Alex. Do read her journal if you can spare the time - she chronicles her own journey from the day she made up her mind to give up her 'secure' job to become a writer and artist.

While there is no way I can afford to break my bond, I've resolved to stop short-changing myself and to really live. I'm going to try and become the person I've always wanted to be. Reading about Alex's journey makes me believe that if you really want something you have to go out there and get it as there will never be a 'perfect time', nor will you ever feel like you have 'enough' funds, experience or credibility. Even if I never get a book published, an album released or any art sold, at least I won't look back on my life in 30 years time and say "I should have..." or "what if".


glittermissy @ 4:27 PM + + Permalink


Friday, September 12, 2003 + Autumn Break +

This week's vacation has definately been too short. But even if it were months long, it still wouldn't be enough. :P Greedy humans hehehe.

I haven't been up to very much the past week, mostly bumming around listening to music, watching movies and sleeping. Sleeping a lot. It's like I've been making up for all the lost sleep over the past 10 weeks of school.

I find myself missing England quite a bit. I wish I'd travelled around UK more when I was there, but I guess I'll get a chance to go back sometime in the future. I haven't been keeping in close contact with the friends I made there and I wish I had. I guess it isn't too late to write them letters if I really wanted to. :P

I don't know why but I've been feeling very listless recently. I can't seem to keep still for any long period of time to concentrate on whatever it is I'm doing/supposed to do. My mind flits about from one thing to the next like a fickle butterfly. When I'm doing A, I'm thinking about B, C, D and E. And I shuttle back and forth between these things without getting anything done in the end. It makes me really irritated with myself but I don't know why I'm like that. I just feel so restless and unproductive.

Maybe I'm too easily discouraged and I lose interest too quickly? Or I'm simply interested in too many things at one go. :P

Well, after this weekend it'll be another 10 weeks or so of school before the end of year break. In a way I'm looking forward to being busy again. At least I won't be sitting around accomplishing nothing, even though I enjoy it. :P But I'm also looking forward to the end of the year, just because the final LOTR movie will be released then. I can't wait. I know it's going to be sooooo good!


glittermissy @ 12:15 PM + + Permalink


Friday, September 05, 2003 + Cheap bar fridges? +

I watched "Pirates of the Caribbean" again (yes for the 2nd time) with John last night and it was so funny, even the 2nd time round. If you're looking for an exciting, swashbuckling adventure movie, POTC is it. Go watch!

Johnny Depp was really good in his role as Jack Sparrow - he certainly injected his own sense of humour and idiosyncracies into the role. It was a laugh and a joy to watch his antics and off-hand corny remarks. :D

Orlando Bloom - everyone's favourite pretty-boy elf from LOTR - was sweet and sensitive in his role. But I think the nature of his role prevented him from making more out of the character, unlike Legolas. I really love what Peter Jackson and Bloom did with Legolas - the humanity of a character seemingly untouched by human worries and even by the passage of time is breath-taking. I love the LOTR movies. :D

Isn't it bad of me to be doing something so frivolous (i.e. ranting about cute actors on my blog) during office hours? :P Shhh....

It's the last day of Term 3 already - my first term in TJ has passed in a flash. Time here passes so much faster than it did during my Practicum. My 10 weeks spent during Practicum was almost agony, time seemed to crawl by like an injured tortoise. I'm so glad that I'm happy in TJ, attitude and perception really makes all the difference.

I'm currently doing my own research on Brahms and his 2nd Piano Concerto - this concerto is the new setwork/prescribed work for the 2004 GCE 'A' Levels. Soooo... I have to teach it to the current batch of year 1s. I'm thankful for having studied Brahms for my 'A' Levels - what I learnt then definately helps me with my research now. And the 2nd Piano Concerto is great - especially the 2nd movement. Just beautiful. The challenge is how to put it across to my students such that they will appreciate it too... I think that is the real challenge in teaching. It is not what's in the package, but how you package it. Sometimes I fear that I'm not a born salesperson (if there's even such a thing) and I'm not very successful at teaching. I just pray hard that my sincerity and care for the students is enough to get me by. :P Maybe I'm worrying too much for nothing. I guess we all have to start somewhere, even if the starting point is miles off.

But so far life in TJ is good. I like the "don't care how you do it as long as it gets done well" culture. I'm definately more motivated to go and "get it done well" in such an environment, compared to the "breathe down your neck and nit-pick at everything" attitude I faced during my practicum. I have a wonderful HOD now, she's such a gem and I'm so thankful for that. My immediate senior is "Ms C" (for the sake of anonymity - did I spell that right??) and she's more like a partner in crime than my subject head (well there are only 2 of us anyways hehe). We get along just fine and so life is good. :)

Speaking of good life, anyone has any 'lobang' for cheap bar fridges??


glittermissy @ 12:16 PM + + Permalink


Tuesday, September 02, 2003 + Do you hear the music? +

The Teachers' Day thingie went by really quickly. I don't even remember what exactly went on on stage during those 5-10 minutes, but anyway, it's over. :P

I had a nice weekend with John and spent some money. Yay. Hehe. The poor boy caught the flu bug though. :(

I spent $37 dollars on a book yesterday (see 'reading' under my 'about me' column). I read the first two books in the series some while ago and flipping through them again on Sunday night, since I had the time to. After reading a couple of online forums dedicated to this trilogy I was dying to read the conclusion. So I went out and bought the hardback (only the hardback is available here now) and finished it in on evening.

There was an unexpected twist to the plot at the end - which was surprising and not entirely satisfying. Being a fantasy series with an embedded romance, it lacked the final triumphant conclusion. The first 2/3 of the book was almost purely a narrative description of how the female protagonist travailed all dangers to get to her destination. The epic battle was exciting, I think the book should have ended not long after. Instead it carries on describing how the happy couple went around righting wrongs. And finally they were deprived of the ultimate happiness and weren't able to sail off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I was like, 'ARGH!!!!' It was bittersweet but anti-climatic after 4 hours of anticipation. Sigh. :(((

The state of my spiritual life (or lack thereof!) has been on my mind more often of late. As I think about all I claim to know about religion, in particular Christianity, and all that my friends have told me in the past, it truly seems that the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. But then we can't ever know everything, and I've learnt that joy comes with every new discovery. It's very much like what Viggo Mortensen said somewhere in one of his books - how the true experience of life, of existing comes from the journeys that we make, and not about reaching the destinations of those journeys.

A few months ago during one of my music lectures at NIE, a guest speaker from NUS came to give a talk about Malay/Arab music and Islam - in particular about Rumi. What I found particularly fascinating is how Rumi likens one's love for and longing to be with God to that of a beloved yearning to be with the lover (Song of Songs/Song of Solomon comes to mind here). For some reason this aspect of love for God particularly appealed to me - perhaps being the die-hard romantic that I am the notion of God being one's true 'soul mate' (so to speak) was something new and appealing.

And being the avid book 'collector' that I am, I have in my possession a collection of Rumi's writings. The language (at least, the tranlsation) is so simple but so full of beauty, even pathos. Here are a few verses for you to mull over:

Here someone hidden whispered:
"Pass beyond your tears and
you will see the broken hearted lovers
are the lords in heaven."
Here someone hidden appeared
holding love's wine
and to him I've given all my vows.

Die, die inside this love
and rise in Spirit.
Die, die and cut the ego's rope
that holds you a prisoner.
Take and axe to the wall and
dig a way out of the prison.
Die, die before the beautiful King
you will become mighty.
Die, die and rise out of this cloud
you will shine like the glorious moon.
Be silent, be silent,
for silence is the sure sign of death.
From your silence
life will trumpet louder than sound.

Do you hear what the music is saying?
"Come follow me and you will find the way.
Your mistakes can also lead you to the truth.
When you ask, the answer will be given."


glittermissy @ 7:58 AM + + Permalink