I'm going to have a meeting with my HOD soon regarding some school matters - amongst them is this thorny situation with our beloved OM.

I think I've been denying myself the truth that I'm actually quite unhappy in school at times. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's my oversensitivity that's really to blame. I let myself get affected by the things others say and how they treat me.

In school I'm not one who believes that dressing up, winning favour and gaining recognition are important. Ultimately our students are at the centre of everything we do, or at least they're supposed to be.

I like to talk to people and treat people with respect. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It's upsetting when I get ordered around by those more senior than me. I know I'm younger and I lack experience but you don't have to keep rubbing it in my face. The least you could do is to ask me nicely like a fellow human being and not some lesser being who deserves only to be told off, who doesn't have feelings and opinions.

It's little wonder why some teachers get so jaded with the system after awhile. Maybe I can't criticise this person for being mean to me but to blame it on the system instead. But then, since we're all in the same boat, why can't we be nicer to each other instead of making life miserable for someone just because you're grumpy that it's Monday morning? Didn't we all have to wake up early to get to school on time?

In the past I've bared my heart to this person believing I've found an ally and a friend. But this person doesn't seem to want to be more understanding and patient towards me. John thinks it's this person's loss to treat me as such. I suppose he's right and I should try not to let it get to me - at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because I really don't know if I'll be here for long and when I leave our paths will probably never cross again. But whenever it happens it makes me unhappy anyway.

I guess we all get things we don't deserve in life and maybe I'm just whining like a spoilt brat. Who knows? I just feel so alone sometimes because there isn't anyone who can possibly truly understand how I feel.

glittermissy @ 8:23 AM + + Permalink