I had a good chat with a good friend and I'm feeling better. There are some people that you can just talk to about anything and even if you don't end up with a solution or with a conclusion of any sort, you feel better anyway just knowing there's someone there for you and someone truly understands. :)

I'm in school right now - they are finally going to come round and reformat the computers. This probably means no more ICQ/MSN and other illegal software on my computer anymore. :( How sucky is that? And this computer somehow doesn't like java much so the web based ICQ doesn't work properly. Argh.

I have choir tonight - so far I'm enjoying myself there. Jen is incredibly funny and she's nice. Best of all she's a wonderful musician and conductor who's obviously given what she does a lot of thought. Even when she's scolding us for not knowing our music her ideas on what it means to be a musician and a chorister are really provoking and it makes me think about my own role as a music teacher and a musician. Something that I am really thankful for especially when I get bogged with all the administrative work and am blinded to the real reason why I'm teaching.

My thoughts are all jumbled up today, my mind is flitting from one issue to the next like a nervous butterfly. Even as I'm thinking about all the things I need to do right now, just about half of my mind is on the conversation I had with my friend this morning, and all the different conflicting emotions that are swimming around in my mind and heart. I once read somewhere that men tend to feel fewer emotions at any one moment while women are capable of feeling various different emotions (even conflicting) ones at one time. I'm not sure if this is true, but it is certainly true for me.

It just seems so bizarre, being back in school and fulfilling my duties as a teacher here, while at the same time my mind is far, far away on matters so unrelated. It makes everything seem so surreal as if life really were nothing but a long dream. I'm truly trying not to overanalyze things and to be less suicidal in thought (lol I can't think of a better way to describe this) but deep down while I'm happier I just feel all shook up.

glittermissy @ 5:09 PM + + Permalink