I'm feeling better today. I think John's stress rubbed off on me and things always seem worse than they really are when I'm stressed. But I still feel that I'm too obliging. Sometimes it seems nice to have a quality like that in a cynical world but it invites unwanted 'attention' if you know what I mean. Maybe I'm just trying to console myself when I say that.

It's the last 4 days of school for me but there are still things to be done - PW and some other admin things. Honestly, being a teacher is 50% teaching and 50% a lot of other rubbish (admin work, being a surrogate parent, being an aunt agony, stationery provider hahaha just to name a few). I'm just glad that some of my students seem to be able to relate to me and vice versa to a certain degree.

I think when I'm in school I give others the impression that I'm innocent (true to a certain degree... self-inflicted innocence which perhaps stems from my idealism), inexperienced (definately true), ignorant and naive. Somehow I've always given my friends the impression that I come from a wonderful family who's very supportive and that I had a happy, sheltered childhood. But underlying all this are problems that I seldom share with others and it usually surprises people when they find out about the turbulence I went through and am still going through. In a way I'm thankful for all the 'bad' things that I had to experience because I think I'd be a much shallower person without those experiences than I am now.

I feel like I'm about to fall ill again. Not getting enough sleep definately isn't helping much. It's not like I work very late into the night but I tend to stay up to do things I enjoy at night and at the same time accompany John as he studies for his exams. :) Even when I'm forced to sleep by 1 or 2 am and get up at 5 plus to go to school, I'm still very much a nocturnal creature. My brain is most active and creative at night somehow. In the day the sun seems too glaring hot for anything creative, and for my introspective nature. I would love to be a surfer babe with a nice tanned and toned body, lounging around on the beach when I'm not actually riding the waves but I think I'd never make a very good one. :P

Well the day's about half over and I've got 4 hours or so more to go. Will try to update again soon. :)

glittermissy @ 11:51 AM + + Permalink